Year Two

December 11^th 2008 marks the end of year 2 of this ride.

This past year has been no less significant and uneventful than the one that preceded it. The anecdotes are far too numerous, and their sheer number highlights two important things. First, all the nastiness that surrounds cancer does get better with time. Second, time cannot work alone, and it is a life full events that enshrines the truth that time can heal all wounds. All of these events are not possible without the help of others. In my case, a significant portion of them would not have come to be without my family, close friends and co-workers that have been with me in this journey.

From committing to crossing off items in my “bucket list” and helping stave off scares, you have all been there and all you have done to help me get busy living does not go unnoticed.

The words of Ferris Bueller ring ever true, "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it."

Year One

On December 11, 2007, it has been one year since I finished my last radiation treatment for the Squamous Cell Cancer of the tongue that I was diagnosed with back on Memorial Day of 2006.  Now with two clear PET scans under my belt, and positive follow-up visits, my team of doctors feel pretty sure this one may be gone. I am thankful. They told me I would loose most of my tongue, I didn’t. They told me I would probably loose my teeth, I’ve still got them. They told me that I would have my neck cut open to remove some lymph nodes, that did not have to happen. At times, when I hear in e-mail or in a board post from folks who have not had it so good, I have twinges of guilt, because they have had it so much worse than me. But none of us really knows what’s around the next bend, be it a car wreck or a cancer recurrence. An almost universal outcome of this disease is a more mindful approach to the time we do have left.

  I have been tunneling through this cancer journey for almost 20 months and I now look back and wonder where the time has gone. Some days were long and some moments were bad, but time does heal wounds, pain and despair. We emerge from the darkness of the tunnel into the light of the world once more.

  No more chemo. No more surgery. No more radiation. No more fluid infusions. No more treatment chairs or chemo nurses. No more 5FU pump waking me up at night. No more radiation restraint holding me to that very uncomfortable table. No more hours spent waiting, watching, thinking. No more personal retreats to a place that became home. No more powerful potions saving me from the treatments that were curing me. No more bald head. No more feeding tube and cases of Glucerna everywhere. I hope never again.

  It’s only me. And my port that I will keep for awhile longer, just in case, and a stop every 6 weeks to keep it clean and functioning. And periodic follow-ups. And memories of a place and the people that took the cancer away and gave me a life more precious than ever before.

  Because of studies and trials and people who lost their lives before me, I benefit. I am a recipient of these wonder treatments of medical science.  I am a recipient of the gift of life. I am happy. I am relieved. I am thankful. I am overwhelmed and I am saddened, especially for those who are yet to go through this.

  No more active treatment. No more constant attention. No more company in strangers who are like me, fighting a battle where some win while others do not. It’s just me and my safety nets, family, friends, sharing, helping, honoring, hoping, laughing, and trying to make sense of it all.

  Now the real surviving begins.

  Making it all matter.

Oral cancer is in the closet and needs special attention in its own right. It is not like all other cancers by the very nature of its location. It takes away the most basic and necessary functions of the lives that it destroys.

 It goes without saying that life can spin out of control at times and the best we can do is plant our feet in the sand, hold hands and help each other get through the spinning. One of the nurses here at the University of Tennessee Cancer Center told me that the body is a wonderful healing machine and that the mouth heals very quickly and thankfully she is correct. It's been over a year since my chemotherapy treatments and surgery, and 11 months since I finished my last radiation treatment and I am doing very well with 2 clear scans under my belt. The radiation was by far the worst part of my overall treatment but I got through it.

 The second biggest help outside of my family, friends and co-workers has been the Oral Cancer Foundation website. The information contained on this site is squarely focused on Head and Neck Cancers. There is a support message board which can be far more important than even the American Cancer Society. The message board is chock full of information, assistance and support, given by people who were going through cancer or helping someone with cancer. Each person there has been touched by the effect of this grossly disgusting disease, from young adults to older adults, from all over the world.

 If I was ever an advocate, I would be now for Oral Cancer. This is a dreadful disease and the treatment and surgery can be very ugly. The importance of the board is paramount, especially for people who are unable to talk after surgery to have a place to go to obtain information, compassion and support by the very people who understand what they're going through.

 The Oral Cancer Foundation and Oral Cancer in general needs more press. Approximately 34,000 people in the US will be newly diagnosed with oral cancer in 2007. This is the second year in a row in which there has been an increase in the rate of occurrence, this time of about 11% over last year. Worldwide the problem is far greater, with new cases annually exceeding 481,000.


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